On Tuesday, September 19, Jim left early for the office. It was raining and cold, and I woke up to a very cozy and snuggly Jango by my side. I did not think anything of it. The routine had changed a little, and the feeling of cooler weather was in the air. I was quite happy that he had stayed home with me. I always love having everyone at home.
At first the morning seemed pretty normal. Jango, Zam, and I were doing our thing.
We went outside to check the gardens and explore. Rain does not usually deter Jango, but today he wanted to stay inside. There was no interest in playing in the rain today, and actually he wouldn't even leave the house for a potty trip without a lot of effort on my part ... hmmm. Such strange behavior.
As the day moved on, Jango was not interested in anything at all. He was acting depressed, and he slept all day. Our typically independent, playful, and busy boy was really shut down. With his history, I have become quite aware of how easily I begin to worry. Today he was clingy, somber, and very snuggly. I wanted to worry. Such strange behavior.
This uncharacteristic behavior continued on through the evening. He was uninterested in play and wrestling with Zorii. Such strange behavior.
Our boy only wanted to snuggle and to be very close to his people. He needed to be touching us. I don't think he could have gotten any closer to me without climbing inside. Such strange behavior.
Jango normally would come by for a quick snuggle, offering his bum then his face then his bum, and he would be off again playing and doing his thing. He's very quick and always on the move. But today he was downright clingy, and he did not let me out of his sight.
Strange behavior indeed.
We were settling in for the evening as we often do, packing up on the couch for a family snuggle and a show. Before shutting off my phone for the night, I opened up Facebook one last time to check on events and any new messages. What I saw in my feed made my jaw drop and left me in awe.
One of Jango's littermates, Sydney, had transitioned earlier on this very day. She was a beautiful red-tri girl. I began to look back at photos in the book that was created to highlight their youngest days. Jango was almost always right next to Sydney in the photos. It feels as if they had quite a special bond as babies.
In an instant, Jango's behavior and the events of this day made complete sense.
He felt the disconnection, the energetic shift. I knew that he needed this day at home to process this shift. He was grieving his sister's leaving this Earth. I checked in with him many times that day. I offered to listen if he had something he wanted to say. He just crawled closer and said he was fine. He just needed space and time. All he desired from us was some peace, quiet, and love.
How profound that they have not seen each other since they left the rescue as 9-week-old pups, but that energetic connection remains as if they've never been apart. We are all connected, and we are forever bonded.
How much in this world we can't see or possibly know! I am constantly in awe at how connected we all are. Nothing is separate. Nothing is random. We often don't understand the meaning of things like this. We rarely see the depth of such incredible synchronicity.
On that Tuesday, I was granted the greatest of gifts. I was granted the gift of knowing. If I had not been on Facebook at that time, I would have missed this connection completely, and I may have continued to think that Jango was becoming sick.
I am humbled and grateful for this incredible sign from the Universe.
Wow.
Jango has always had a prankster side. I love every last bit of his hilarious jokes and antics. When he was a puppy, he had many hilarious traits. Trying to play with multiple toys at one time, but he could not figure out how to carry the. Rearranging things in the house. Workout equipment, laundry, and rugs moved from here to there. Never destroyed... just redecorating. We never knew quite what we would find where.
The very next morning after his stay-at-home day, Jango stole the bath mat. He relentlessly taunted me to come and get it. Off like a cannon, he ran out of the bedroom, down the hallway and down into the kitchen barking and mocking me the entire way, with his mouth full of carpet. I laughed and knew that he was feeling quite fine once again. I cannot recall the last time he wanted to play this game.
I know of at least two from his litter who are now across the rainbow bridge. Shae, Sydney and their people are all in our thoughts. I send so much love to them. I can feel their loss.
That's the thing, though, isn't it? We can feel loss so deep in our soul. We mourn, and we remember, and we celebrate the life. But ... our dogs feel loss too. Jango's behavior, it turns out, was not strange at all. He was honestly honoring his feelings, and a sibling loss. Bless him.
Jango is back waiting at the door to be the first one to the car when Jim goes to work!
It wasn't until I began doing this work that I began to understand that our animals grieve, too. They will uniquely express and process their emotions, but unlike humans they will never hold back their honest feelings.
As I post this story, it is Jango's 10th Gotcha Day! 10 years ago on this day, we brought him home for the very first time.
Each of his brothers, sisters, and their families are in my heart. I have spent a lot of time looking back at photos and memories the past week.
Thank you, Sydney, for being a gift in this world and for teaching me this wonderful lesson about connection.